Friday, March 20, 2009

Congrats Erik and Shannon!

March 16, 2009

My little sister is engaged to be married!!! Shannon and Erik have decided to be married this summer in August. I am so happy for them and for Erik to join our family. He has been a great brother so far and is a huge support to my family, and someone my little brothers look up to. And he makes my sister very happy. This means, without a doubt, I will be coming to America in August for a visit!

I am really excited to see my sister off in this new stage in her life, as well as to reconnect with my family and friends. The dates for my time home have not been set yet, but I will be in the Portland area with maybe one trip down to Eugene. (Have to be in my college town for a bit, see Reed's family, and my best friend, Noora.) Please, if you can, come to the Portland area while I am home! Would love to see as many people as possible. Let me know if you will be around...

This has brought on a lot of questions from my villagers: You can just visit America? Will you come back? and my Favorite: But you are first born, why has your father allowed your sister to get married before you? (This launches us into a whole discussion about how there is no bride price, no father allowing.... etc.) So, at 25, I am officially an old maid... but a very happy one. Love and miss everyone... Can't wait to see you in a few months!

News Flash

March 14, 2009

Random News from the last few days:

"My" cow had a baby. I should have known there could not be a cow that fat in Africa.

Kimulimuli, the descendant of Golem (J.R.R. Tolkien apparently did not know that he reproduced) and a naked mole rat who has put on some clothes, has decided to try to be cute. He is almost as pathetic as ever, but not quite. Right now he is playing with the only toy he possesses: his tail.

Siyafu (man-eating ants) invaded my house. I spread kerosene to keep them away, it acts as sort of a Siyafu fire wall. I managed not to get bitten this time- but the fumes are getting to my head and if I lit a match I am pretty sure my house would blow up. Juster informs me that Siyafu are enemies with poisonous snakes- I am not sure what I am supposed to do with this information. I am certainly not going to import a poisonous snake into my house to get rid of them... I would sort of rather not have either. Can that be an option? I have been told that there are two occasions I am supposed to run as fast as I can to the Mwalimu Mkuu's home. One is if the Siyafu invade at night, the second is if witches show up on my doorstep. (I am serious.)

I have turned into a mama kangaroo, except I carry my baby on my back. These days, Anna and I are inseparable. She is always tied onto my back and so I take her everywhere. When someone tries to take her away or when it is time for her to go home at the end of the day she cries. Otherwise she is perfect. She is the ideal age where I can pack her around, she is potty trained, she can talk, but she is content with the small things. I took her to the teacher's meeting and she was sitting on my lap and drawing at my desk. The next minute I felt her get really heavy and I had to catch her before she fell. She literally fell asleep sitting up. She slept on my chest through the rest of the meeting. My little secret is that I want to keep her, but luckily Mwalimu Mjemah (her father) is equally as in love with her and I doubt he will offer her to me. She has given me a great "in" with the mamas though. Even though, it is obvious that she is not mine, it is still connecting to all be walking along with babies tied to our backs. It also makes them a little less weirded out that I am about to be 25 and have no husband or children.

In other news- I am building a tree in my living room. Yep. My fireplace is gray rough cement and i wanted to paint it but knew it could never look good. I decided on brown because my living room is earth tones- then I realized it looked like a tree trunk. Now I am fashioning branches that will connect to the ceiling. I am also making leaves. It will be decorated for Christmas next year. My villagers think I am crazy to build a tree in my living room, but I might as well be a bit crazy, right? I mean I am living alone in a village in the middle of nowhere.The house is mine, but it is not like I am re-selling it or living there forever. Might as well have some fun with it. So that is my big house art project.

I have started to join a new village social circle. Maria, one of my female teachers, also runs a Mgahawa (Cafe- place you can sit and drink soda or beer.) I go there with her now in the evening sometimes. It is pretty much only men who sit around at places like that, but it has made me a lot closer with the male population of my village. I pretty much disliked male Tanzanians after getting mugged, but my village men have regained my confidence. They are going to be the start of my men's group (which at my PC site visit, they said a men's group was a totally innovative idea that they had never heard of a woman starting. Empower men to empower women, right?) Maria is always there and usually my Mwalimu Mkuu, so I feel pretty good about being there. I was going to walk home the other night and it had just gotten dark, my Mwalimu Mkuu was shocked and said "Brie, Remember what happened in Dar?" (In Kis) and I was like, "Oh, yeah, but we are in the village. I thought I was safe here... ugh." He said in English which he never speaks, "You are, but what would we do if something happened to you?" Then he made my driver (Stanley) walk me home. Somehow I inherited a dad out of my Mwalimu Mkuu- he is great. Stanley is another story- He has stopped proposing and now we have some sort of friendship, which is weird because he did not finish primary school, speaks no English, and is a Tanzanian male who is my age. He knocks on my door because he knows I like to go visit people, he won't come into my house without a chaperone and I wondered how I ended up in the 1800s... but good to observe boundaries. When we go walking he walks about four feet away from me on the other side of the road as is respectful for people of the opposite sex to walk, however, he still manages to ask me a million questions about America. He and his friends are all about my age and have no schooling and he is the only one with any sort of job. They just hang out all day and I imagine, sleep around at night. So little do they know my being friendly with the white girl, they are about to start going to work for me. They think that they are just having a good time but they are about to get an AIDS/STDS prevention earful. After that my plan is to basically have them help me by being peer educators for other men in our community. After all, what else do they have to do?

Other updates: My back is peeling, I may or may not have fleas, I have living off pineapple and home made tortillas, I had a dream the other night that I was in Target and I could practically feel the new clothes, but I woke up to the same 5 skirts and 7 shirts...

Dr. Seuss and Wachawi Come to the Village

March 12, 2009

I am exhausted. I only got eight hours of sleep last night. Yep, that's right, I said only. Usually I get ten. During training PC told us that we would need more because of our stress level, but really I think what most PCVs attribute it to is being alone with no electricity, you can only read for so long, this causes us to go to bed at the time of most five year olds. But last night I couldn't fall asleep. Sometimes I have a hard time the night before I teach.

We have been having beautiful nights here in the village. With a big full moon and a million stars. There is a huge owl that sits in the tree outside my house, he is there every night now. In the early morning around 4.30 am when I wait for our village car to take me to town I can see three of them usually. They all have their respective perches and they call to each other. Also, I have never seen so many bats as when I wait for the car. It is a good thing I love both bats and owls. The bats fly around me so closely their wings brush my hair. The owl in my tree and I have pretty regular staring contests, I don't have a lot else to do at night. Tanzanians hate owls as they believe them to be a bad omen, so I decided to freak Juster out. I told her about the owls I see, and she reacted in shock. "You see them!" "Yep." Then she told me that someone has put the evil eye on me because I see them and they hang out around me. It seems to me though that the owl is the only one with his eye one me. He turns his neck all the way around to check me out. Then he goes back to scanning the ground for rats, so I make a shuffling noise so he looks back over at me. I know this is distracting him from keeping the rats away from my house, but it is sort of fun and he is really smart. He only falls for my shuffling a few times before he ignores me. All is beautiful here. In fact, during my last sight visit PC told me that my view from my house was the most beautiful they had seen at a PC home.

So today I taught at school. Yesterday I spent the entire day translating, "Oh, The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss into Kiswahili. I must say that I did take some artistic liberties though, it is difficult to find words like "mind-maker-upper" and "boom band" in my dictionary. I think a bit was lost in translation- but overall, introducing Dr. Seuss at a Tanzanian primary school was a big success. You have to put yourself in the mindset here. These children have no books, no teacher has ever sat them down to read to them, there is no story rug. So I decide to try it. "Oh, The Places You'll Go" I figure is a great life skills book about making good choices and believing in yourself and an insight into American culture. It also seems like a travesty to me to be 10 years old and never have heard Dr. Seuss, even if it is in Kiswahili.

The reaction was out of control. I was supposed to teach class 6 & 7 today, which can loosely be compared to sixth and seventh grade. However, while TZ children are more advanced in many ways than American children (Most of the girls will be married in a few short years), in many ways they are stunted somehow. So I worry they will be too cool for the book... should not have worried. The reaction was verbal- from screams of delight, to "Ah!", to uncontrollable laughter. I did not even have to translate the book, they loved the pictures so much. Excited conversation was sparked each time I turned the page. A little boy in Darasa Sita (Class six), who has always reminded me of my brothers (weird how Africans can act and look so much like Americans in a weird way) moved all the way around the class following me so that he could look at the pictures for as long as possible. It is difficult to show a picture to a class of 80, so I was basically just running around the room. I teach it four times in a row because all the class levels are split into two rooms of about 80 a piece. I don't usually teach in a row though but because no one else is teaching, I just do it all. I try to be like Miss Honey from Matilda today... I try to make the student's day fun. After I taught my four classes I figured that the rest of the school should get some Dr. Seuss too. So I taught every class today- 10 separate times of reading Dr. Seuss in Kiswahili. It was great I would walk into a class without a teacher and all the kids would do the "Yes!" arm pump-type response that is typical of American kids. As I read I would half the time I would expect to hear my Dad's voice. My Mom usually read to us, but my Dad's job was to read Dr. Seuss in a big booming voice that I tried to replicate.

Then I went home and fell asleep- it was only 2.30 but I was wiped.

Today Mwalimu Msanga asked me if I would teach Rebeca (Katherine's older sister) English, so that she will be able to get into secondary school. In exchange (I did not really need an exchange) she is going to help me around the house. I am really excited about getting to know students one on one and she is a really sweet girl who I would love to see do well.

After I got up from my nap, I played with the lost boys for a bit. This is my nickname for Clavel, Lau and all their friends. Being 3 and 4 years old, they are too young to go to school. So they spend their days running around in a miniature gang. They are the dirtiest bunch but so cute. Today they were running up and down our main dirt road, barefoot holding bucket lids like steering wheels and making car noises. It was like a tiny version of the Indy 500 minus the cars.

A weird thing happened today. The Mwalimu Mkuu came into school and said something to the teachers and they were all really upset. I didn't understand and Juster and Jen were both traveling, so there goes my English speakers. Mama Lau tried to tell me slowly in Kiswahili but Mwalimu Mjemah told her 'No, Brie needs to know. We must try to use our English." So then I had about 8 teachers attempting to string together what little English they could manage mixed with Kiswahili to get this story. Apparently some Wachawi (Witches) have come to our village that are from somewhere else. They are selling human hands, breast and vaginas. Right- I know. So many questions. It should be said that witchcraft is wide spread all over Africa. On Radio Africa it is one of the main news topics all over the continent. It is a huge problem here. Tanzania is particularly known for the murdering of Albinos. Usually their skin or body parts are sold or used in some type of potion that is supposed to bring the bearer luck, a good harvest or money. I begin questioning- "Human ones?" Not that monkeys would really be much better. Answer: Yes. Me: From Albinos? Them: Some are but some people who have the lines of the palm making an "m" (Mwalimu Maria immediately check my palm- no "m") Me: Why? Them: They will make money. (Ok- not the question.) Me: Why would anyone buy them? They have magical powers. There are so many things wrong with this I can't even begin. All I know is that this is a bit creepy. If it was just regular TZ superstition, I would be all for it, but this is weird, a little more serial-killerish. I am assured I cannot be mistaken for an Albino... so don't worry, Mom. :-)

Monday, March 9, 2009

My Village Dispensary

"To see things in the seed, that is genius."
- Lao- Tzu

March 2, 2009

This morning I headed to my village dispensary- I have been there before but today I have decided that I am going to get involved there. We have one nurse, her name is Jessica. Turns out that today is baby weighing day. There are about 20 mamas there with tiny little babies. They harness them up to a scale in a swing like contraption to measure their weight. Jessica immediately gives me more responsibility than I am expecting and has me do the weighing and record their weights on their charts. Most of the babies weigh between 4- 4.5 kilos. Afterwards the mamas have individual consultations in Jessica's office. Sometimes it is great to be a mzungu- I am allowed to sit in on these consultations and watch, despite the fact that I am totally unqualified to be there. So much for confidentiality in stuff. The mamas come in one by one with their tiny babies. The consultation consists of looking at the baby. Asking the mama some questions, mainly "Does the baby nurse well? Did the umbilical cord heal well? Do you have any concerns or problems with your baby?" and then telling them to come back in three weeks for another weighing. Luckily, the babies I see today are totally healthy and beautiful. After this I think we are done, but Jessica tells me "Unabaki hapa" (You are remaining here) .

Then a woman comes in without a baby. She starts to unwrap herself from her kangas (The bright fabric that TZ women drape their bodies in) and I wonder what is about to take place. Then I realize that she is pregnant. For whatever reason, TZ women are great at covering their pregnancies. I think it is partly the way that they dress and partly because they gain such little weight because they are still so active that only their stomachs get fat. So anyways, she climbs onto the medieval-type check-up table and I don't really know what I am about to witness, luckily, she looks too calm to be about to give birth. She is almost naked and I am impressed by her bravery as breasts have no sexual meaning in TZ culture and women are breast feeding in public all the time, but stomachs and low backs are an extremely private part on a woman. So I am a bit surprised they are so okay for me being there to see what happens behind the closed doors. For one of the first times here, I am really thankful to be a female volunteer. If I was a male PCV I would never be able to be so involved in the women's issues in my village.

Jessica begins to warm up her hands by rubbing them together then she prods around this woman's stomach, next she uses a tape measure to measure her from breastbone to pubic bone. The measuring helps to determine how many months along the baby is. Then we use a metal funnel like thing to listen to the babies heartbeat. Then we look under the woman's eyelid to see if she is anemic. Next we check her ankles for swelling. Then the woman climbs down and redresses. For her consultation she is asked if she has concerns, how far along she thinks she is, can she feel the baby move, and how many kids she already has. For the last question, if the woman says more than three, then Jessica tells her that is too many and she needs to look into family planning, this seems very progressive for my village and I am really surprised. Jessica sets a good example and proudly tells me that she only has one daughter because that is all she can afford. We see woman after woman all of them guess they are about nine months along, except one who says she doesn't know at all but she looks similar to the rest of them. All of them are my age or younger- it is none of their first child. At the end of the consultation Jessica gives them instructions on what to bring to the dispensary when they are ready to give birth- blankets, clothes, buckets... It is about this point that I am immensely grateful that I am not about to give birth in my village.

At one point between women, Jessica looks at me and says, "You can deliver babies." She doesn't even put it in the Kiswahili question format and says it instead like a statement. I wish at this point that I had a camera on my face- "Ugh... NO!!!" She tells me that she needs to teach me because she needs someone else to deliver also. I can understand this my village is big for only one nurse, especially with all the babies they are pumping out. However, I am having a hard time picturing myself able to deliver a baby in a Tanzanian village. I am so under qualified for that job, it is ridiculous to think about. I have never even seen anyone be born, much less had any part in it myself. In PCTZ, they really throw you into the job full-force.

At the end of the day a woman my age walks in and asks for contraceptives- what? She tells me that she has three kids, so she is done. Ok. Turns out my tiny village dispensary actually has contraceptives! All of the boxes of birth control and condoms claim to be gifts from different European countries, particularly Denmark and Sweden. However, every other box, besides contraceptives, proudly proclaims "USAID- From the American People," In red, white, and blue, with the familiar hand grasp logo. Only condoms and birth control are here from European aid organizations- thank you, progressive Europeans! I hope our new administration will do a better job of supplying what is needed in Africa.

Anyways, I sort of have a blast at the dispensary. I like sitting behind the closed door and getting to listen to every one's business like I am some sort of health expert. In over my head once again, but still really fascinating stuff from a cultural perspective.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Announcements

Announcements: Please please send me pictures. My picture wall is in full swing. My sister, Shannon, wins the award for appearing in the most pictures so far. (That is right, I have had time to count.) However, most of them are from her graduation, causing my villagers to ask me why she always wears that hat... haha. She is closely followed by my other siblings. Anyways, I want a picture of you, so send it.

Also, when I run out of things to say at the primary school it turns into a cross cultural America class where the kids want to know what America is like. They know nothing about it. I brought in a world map and they could not find the U.S. or Tanzania, for that matter, on the map. Geography is not really taught. They are interested in everything about America and the world. Americans can help me by sending pictures of American stuff- maybe the classroom where your kids go to school, a city, an American farm, what your house looks like... etc. Or send music, burned DVDs of child appropriate videos, postcards, anything that you think might represent America. It is best if things are coming from different states, so that they can see that America is diverse. The adults are curious too, just today my driver asked me if the roads in America are the same as Tanzania. (Answer: no, in TZ you drive on a road that is the equivalent of a slip 'n slide made of mud, in America we drive on pavement.) I get many questions about if there are black Americans and how many. If there is poverty in America and what it looks like. Also I was asked to tell the life story of MLK Jr. These are the types of things they want to know. A map of America would be nice to get, as well. Even a picture of a washing machine or a mop, they don't understand how we use machines for household work. I am hoping to start the kids on a pen pal exchange with my sister's class in America, but it is not going yet. So if you would like to write a letter to the students as a whole I can translate that and read it to them, and there is a possibility that we can write back. The objective of this is not to rub in what luxuries Americans have, so if I can do that while still remaining honest then that would be good. I do not want them to think that life is perfect in America and all Americans are rich. (Although comparatively, be thankful!)

I have been getting lots of email about what to send me. You are all so generous. I don't really need anything, but it is always great to get packages.
I like to get magazines of all kinds. Our NEWSWEEK subscription to PCVs has been cut due to budget cuts to PC. I like to get: Rollingstone, Time, Newsweek, National Geographic, People & other entertainment mags. Any are great to get!
Granola or Luna Bars or any "Fast Food' where cooking is not required. TZ has basically no snack food.
Crystal Light or anything to flavor water. It is nice to have variety and get that boiled charcoal taste out of the water.
Any beauty supplies- face wash, chapstick, lotions, cover-up... etc. My Aunts and Mom have been good about keeping me covered with this stuff so far. Thanks Jaime, Noreen and Mom!
Whatever else...

Lastly, I want a parachute. I know. I am not sure how to construct one. They are always so fun when you are little to dance with and play under. Any ideas on how to make one?

There is a small possibility that I will get to visit the States in August. My parents and I are hoping to scrap together the money. So hopefully, I will be in Oregon again soon. Miss and love you, Family and Friends.

"Nitawataka Kupima Afya" or "I Want to Test Your Health"

"Let nothing perturb you, nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything."
- Mother Teresa

March 1, 2009

Sunday- My village day. I woke up to find a huge rat in my drawer, so I screamed and Kimulimuli was on it. That cat is fast but the rat still escaped under the door. I grew up with mice as pets but something about living with a rat in my food, clothes, etc. really freaks me out. I got ready for church, I think I have been to church more times in Africa than ever in America. However, I go for the social/integration aspect of it, not for any religious purpose. When I get to church, Anna throws herself in my arms- today she is in a pink ruffly number with pink studs in her ears. I spend the rest of the service entertaining her. Church goes like usual and at the end they make me stand up and talk. They do this now. I am not sure what the purpose is and what I am supposed to say, but I think it will come in handy whenever I really have anything to announce. So I tell them what I am teaching at the primary school and that this week I am going to start work at the dispensary. I mention that I want to have a village AIDS day, where an organization will come in to test all of us. This is met with no eye contact and nervous laughter.

Let me put you in my mind: I have been feeling useless. If I had wanted to teach at a primary school I could have done Teach for America and saved myself the trouble of learning Swahili, but I am a PCV, I should be doing something impactful. I have been placing lots of pressure on myself lately. Every other volunteer seems to already have all these great projects going- mama groups, orphan groups, their AIDS group is a choir that sings... My friend, Katelina, and I are the only two volunteers I know who wander around our villages and say the word AIDS and we get this crazy reaction. Either it is met with laughter, a comment along the lines of "No, we don't have that here," or "No one will get tested." No one wants to talk about AIDS. We have no AIDS group in our villages, much less ones that sing. In my village their is no mama's group and no orphan's group (In fact we don't even have orphan numbers). I am starting from scratch. It is interesting though, that Katelina and I are the only Health/Environment Volunteers down here in Njombe who are starting a site. Every other site has had a PCV there before, which I think is a good compliment to PC that they are doing something.

The one great things about being first, however, is we never get compared to other volunteers. In fact, I think my villagers would be happy if I just visited their homes for the next two years. That is all they really want me to do anyways. I could become a professional visitor. I get invited to homes a million times a day. If I don't go, than they always ask where I was. The problem is you can't just visit once, if you haven't been to their house in a week they say "You have become lost to me" (In Kiswahili). So once you have made some rounds, you had better start up again. So as I sit drinking chai in everyone and their mom's living room (Literally). I think about how I must be the worst PCV ever. I have read, not even an exaggeration, about 50 books. (Just read the "The Bean Trees" by Barbara Kingsolver. Highly highly recommend it.) I read like it's my job, however I am not sure it is in the volunteer job description. (Anyone know how I can be a book reviewer? That's a job for me.) At least I figure that I am making it easier for the next volunteer. When the village is comparing the newbie to me, they will say "Oh, you are actually going to do a project? Brie just ate lots of ugali, held our kids and went to the kilabu." So as you can see, I am starting to panic over here.

Sundays are visiting days and everyone is home. So I set out to work under the guise of visiting. I decide to haul Juster along with me to Mama Mary's home. I think Mama Mary will be helpful in forming a mama's group. We run into this guy and his wife on the way there. He tells me that he is Mama Mary's brother in law and she is not home because he is at a wedding in another village, but he and his wife would love to have us that their home. So we go. Turns out Baba Siefina is a childhood friend of Roma's. It's a small world in African Villages. He reminds me a bit of Roma too. His mother comes in to visit too, she lives next door with Mama Mary on the other side. Turns out his mother is the village chairperson's sister. Ahh, they are all connected and I realize that I am probably one of the only person in the village who is not related to almost everyone. About 50% of the primary school kids have the last name Ngoda. The conversation is the usual what do we eat and what's the weather like in America. Then they tell me that Mzee Ngoda, (my wizard neighbor), killed two people a long time ago to become the first chairperson of the village. Apparently, he just wiped out the competition. Great- I hung out with this guy yesterday and he is my closest neighbor. I press for more info- apparently he killed them through witchcraft. One fell off his motorcycle and the other started coughing up blood. Ok- so an accident and TB, now I am not so worried. The visiting is fun- they give me beans from their farm and avocados from their tree. (A great part of visiting is the gifts.)

However, as I go visiting house to house I feel a bit discouraged. I make a point of asking people individually about an AIDS day. What if it is a party? What if there is cake? Dancing? I can guarantee that there will be 10+ wazungu there. I feel like a carnie- "Step right up to see my white-skinned PCV friends", however, wazungu are always a big selling point with villagers. I can see fear in their eyes, so ask Juster- why? She tells me that they fear that other people will find out about their status (so much for a group), they fear knowing the results, they are afraid. But I am also afraid- as a PCV we are not supposed to be pushing our own agenda, but what if I think the agenda will help the community? I am a PEPFAR volunteer, I am supposed to be working with people who have AIDS, but I don't even know who they are. If this is not a desire of my village, then should I just give up and do something else? Juster even tells me that she and the rest of the teachers will not get tested because they don't think that they have it- thanks for setting a good example. Then she suggests forming all my groups- mamas, orphans, mens, people who keep bees... etc. and gain their trust and teach them the importance of being tested. Then the last month or two of my service having an AIDS day. This is clearly not going to happen at my pace. I am supposed to spend my whole service just getting people used to the idea of being tested? What am I supposed to put on my resume? Haha. I try to tell myself that it is okay because I am the first volunteer and the next PCV here can have the group that sings.

Still feeling disappointed I go home to make a pizza for Kimulimuli and I (That cat eats anything!) I realize that I don't have enough flour so I head to Msanga's shop. On the way there is a man I don't know, he is on his bike stopped in the road. I greet him in Kibena and he replies but then calls me closer. He lowers his voice so no one walking past can hear. Then he speaks quietly, "Nitataka kupima afya." Literally: I want to check my health. However, I know that in TZ this is slang for getting tested for AIDS. I can't believe it. I stare blankly at him. Then he says it again quietly. I say Ok, I am understanding you. I am working on planning the day. He thanks me and rides off. Just when you think no one cares what you are doing or wants to be involved someone like that comes along. Someone in my village actually wants to be tested and they want my help. I live in a region with the highest AIDS rate in TZ at 14.7%, and finally maybe my villagers will respond to that. If he wants help, than maybe more people really do too and are afraid to speak up. How many people would come if I had a testing day? I have no way of knowing. But I do know that is PCTZ just when you feel on the edge- ready to give up, then one small thing happens to remind me that it may all be worth it. Maybe I am being heard.