"She's got everything she needs, she's an artist and she don't look back." -Dylan
July 1, 2010
After spending months in denial it is time to face the fact that my days on the African continent are limited. I have successfully procrastinated in knowing this for quite sometime. Only on occassion does that knowledge creep up on me, when I get infected with what I call the "last- syndrome", ex- this is the last time I'll go to Iringa, this is the last time I will hear a bush baby scream in the night, this is the last time that I will see you... The thought of no return ticket to Tanzania is unbelievably depressing to me. The sense of loss I feel is overwhelming.
I am nervous about moving back to a country where stories don't start with, "The last time I was on Zanzibar..." or "Today we only got stuck in the mud twice and ran out of gas four times..." Outfits don't always include a slip under a below the knee skirt, and on a long bus ride no one sits down next to you and wants to hear your life story... in Swahili. It is funny, there are so many downright annoying things about being an mzungu in TZ, but once you get used to it, it becomes a pretty fun life.
I will be on an airplane in August. Leaving a country filled with smiling faces, rolling hills, bright fabric, rough roads, white beaches, a snow capped mountain- adventure.
Christmas came in July today as it rained and was freezing at the same time- something is it generally not supposed to do here. I curled up in front of my fire, roasted peanuts from the farm and read a Tom Robbins book. As I sit next to the fire, in my little house in East Africa it occurs to my that the number one lesson that I have learned in my time here is that everything is about attitude. I am moving back to America- I need an attitude adjustment. All things come to an end, whether good or bad and whether I ignore it or not PC is ending. Change is the only constant, best to embrace it. I've decided to make a list about all the things I am excited about to return to in America- friends and family obviously, but what else? Who knows, maybe you will find something that you take advantage of?
I am excited for:
-hot showers
-the cheese isle of the grocery store
-driving a car on paved roads
-tofu
-when calling a meeting at noon, people showing up at noon, maybe even a little before. Not coming any time between 3 and 6 pm.
-ice cubes
-gyms and yoga classes
-red wine that is not from South Africa
-drinkable water
-a house with minimal spiders, not the maximum amount that can cram in.
-Hollywood Video and movie theatres
-people who understand the concept of standing in line without cutting
-swimming in a lake and not wondering whether or not you have shisto
-not having to follow up everything you say with "Are you understanding me?"
-American efficiency and customer service
-concerts, theatre, dance, art- culture that is not African
-not having to bargain for the price of everything
-not having every negative event attributed to witchcraft
-when ordering something at a restaurant, knowing just what is coming
-sickness that you know is not something crazy/weird
-machines- laundry, dishwasher, mop, vacuum, fridge, freezer...
-being anonymous- not having everyone talk about me constantly
-the absence of the near daily funeral
-a library with books that haven't just been discarded by PCVs
-unlimited internet and TV access
-things that make sense (to me)
-fat cats and dogs and the absence of rats
-not being alone unless desired
-western toilets and provided toilet paper
-Trader Joes
-Having clean, stylish, hole-less clothing
-Oregon seasons
-Implementing PC's third goal (Teaching Americans about Tanzanians)
-New challenges, new experiences, new dreams---
I feel better already...
PC says that the hardest time in a volunteer's service is the re-adjustment to America. This is probably true, but it certainly doesn't have to be. I choose to focus on what I am going toward, not what I am giving up. Life goes on and Peace Corps is only part of the adventure. On to the next one!
"Adventure is worthwhile in itself." -Amelia Earhart
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4 comments:
Hi Brie! Wow, I can't believe that your PC time is coming to an end. I really loved this post--you are right--there is so much to look forward to about coming home. I am sure it will be hard to leave the home you have known for a few years and the friends you have made. Good luck with your transistion and enjoy your last couple months!
Hugs, mary
You all should be so proud of yourselves. You have made it for over 2 years. .that's a very long time to not take a hot shower. .but your adventures and memories will last a lifetime. I am going to miss all of you. I wish all of you good things in life and the best is yet to be.
Brie! What an incredible accomplishment! You stuck it out and succeeded! The love that has come forth from you to make these two years work in a positive way for you and everyone in your village... Amazing! You really can't leave Tanzania behind. It will always be a permanent part of who you are. Thank you for taking us with you every step of the way, thru every mud rut, bleeding feet and toenails loose in socks, high heeled Tanzanian girls deep in the jungle, your spider infested
"home", hauling water, skipping showers, drinking pombe, teaching the guys about condoms in the local bars... and to put the cherry ontop for yourself by going to Jane Goodall's chimps. Wow! and jumping off that boat into Lake Tanganyika! I can't wait to see what new adventures you undertake to top all of this!!! And I know you will! My heart is with you in leaving these beautiful loving people in Image Village. They will miss you so much! You know and have experienced real love!
You are approaching the change in a perfect way... by writing a list of the things you look forward to. I laughed at Trader Joe's. Can't wait to see you!
Sending Love and Hugs,
Bami
Hey Brie just wanted to let you know that most of the Hollywood videos have gone out of business due to netflix and blockbuster... But you can still look forward to one of those :)Love you.
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